paints and thread

crafts crafts crafts!!
I have had a super busy week here visiting my momma!!
lots got solved, like the issue of the baby being upside down! but [she] has now flipped around and is all ready to come out! I still have a couple weeks to go but the baby is 5 pounds 7 ounces as of right now (we would like it to gain one or two more pounds)

I got a little old fashioned hard sampsonite suitcase! its child size and it was painted white, but i just painted it pink, and i am putting little owls on it and leaves!!
I also made a mobile for baby and its ADORABLE! its little felt birdie shapes in red, blue and purple and the have white stitching around the edges and hang from a white painted twig that a hummingbird showed me!

Blanket and a Pillow

every moment with you is framed by beauty.
and not beauty in the way we think of it...
but in a photographers way of thinking..
every moment; captured, held, suspended. lifted up.. appreciated. cherished. hung on a wall behind me eyes, to see and to be seen by all walking past. i radiate with your love inside of me.
---i want to tell you a story,
--and i hope you will see it in the same colours i can...
-its painted gold and silver, they intertwine and loop around each other,
and theres music in the story that cannot be sung by human voices.
and the voices are even greater then the angels themselves.
the story has our future in it, and the past has become good.
the past is good because now we see each other in all of it.
and the peices fit together and grow...

when i fall asleep with you with the door open i know what a child feels when they trust..
innocence, honesty. love.
i love how you bring me poetry, and how the simple things now have meaning
like a wind chime made of broken bottles and wine glasses
tied up by thick fishing wire, and decorated with clam shells.
thats beauty to me now.
and its everywhere.

how does your shoulder feel better then a pillow?
and how does the rain make me sing and skip because it makes me think of being baptized?
i want to learn everything with you... and i want to know nothing with you.

teddy bear picnic

http://tadasrevolution.wordpress.com/

This has filled me up today.
with craftiness

Lucky penny

I am feeling... uninspired.
I want to walk down to the water and bask in the sun. Its still a cold wind and I can see snow tipped mountains in the distance, but I want to celebrate the absence of the rain and the grey clouds today.
I am feeling... benevolent.
*I wont comment on the fact that Benjamin taught me what that word means yesterday*
I want to know that I will know what to do when the time comes.
sometimes I throw myself too violently onto the couch or into the car and I feel a sharp pain and wonder if I have caused harm. and it scares me to remember how fragile life is.
I am feeling... willowtrees.
I know thats not one word. but its how i feel.
I want to go take a thousand pictures of a leaf, and the ocean floor. I want a goldfish in a glass jar with rainbow pebbles and a little shrub. I want to name it something human like Gracie or Edwin. or maybe Finn.
I am feeling... restless.
I want to have a picnic. and sit on a huge blanket munching on pea-pods and havarti and biscuits. sipping iced tea out of a thermos and telling stories about the clouds. as they pass over our heads. I love that I have strong memories about a hammock and laughing in the grass.
I want to read about everything, and fill my mind with dreams and art and patchwork teddy bears.
I get to love
I get to be loved.
and it makes me feel... arms outstretched at sunrise.

J'aime Johnson is at home

So today was a different day..
Instead of jumping up as soon as it was daylight me and the mister stayed in bed and doozed and snuggled and listened to the rainy wet street noise. i watched out the window at the little birds groom the buds and sing [really annoying] little sing songs at one another.

I laid there and felt the little pea squirm around in my belly for about an hour before I realized that I feel like I am home.

I havnt felt like the place I have lived (as in my local address) has been somewhere I can walk into after work, or a trip away, throw my purse down, slip off my shoes and feel that sense of home since I lived in Nanaimo. that same sense you have when you are 5 and you live in a house with your parent(s), and your grandparents [live there too or come to visit at least]. where you know every little nook and crevace because you're 5 and you have all the time in the world to explore, and in truth thats the only thing that interests you.
where when you move out of that place you end up missing the ugly shag carpetting or the stained countertops and the lazy susan that never spun properly.. all good reasons your parent(s) saw for moving, but these things made you feel right with the world.

Now, the apartment (or condo rather) I am living in now, does have a lazy susan. but it works perfectly. it doesnt have shag carpetting and the counter tops are pretty new.. but it has all these other quirks. and them combined with the fact that the man I love is here, and the smell of the sea and the puddles on the balcony.. they all make me feel like i am right where i belong.

when it rains, it sounds like rain falling on a tent in our bedroom. its loud and speratic and messy. and wonderful.
when its sunny, the rays shove themselves through the shutters in the living room and spill in clean bright yellow lines along the floor that make me want to stretch out in them and soak in their warmth.
when its grey and cloudy, everything gets quiet, and the day seems to go on forever. and our couch is perfect for curling up on and reading.
I love being Home.

a different closet everyday

modcloth.com
thats all i have to say..

faceless

'Spin me round again and rub my eyes, this cant be happening. ---
When busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy.
Hide and Seek... Dreams are soaking my sheets.'

A breeze on my cheek.
The faint smell for one instant of something from my childhood.. a memory.. fading.
I still remember my doll with blue hair in her gold dress. How long will that memory stick around now?
Will my childhood memories be replaced with the ones of my childs?
strange thought..

I want to make things.. craft things. Make a home for things. and creatures.
pet rocks.
I want to write evenly. To have it ~flow~ just once.

I will never know abandonment again.. or the heartbreak of trusting your heart to someone and having them treat it like toast crumbs. pudding skin.. the sugary part of tea at the very bottom of the cup..
this pleases me.

Nonsense. Brilliance. Science. Beauty. Strength.. powerful words, taken to lightly.
nothing is flowing today.
everything is growing though! because it is springtime now! the dew drops are turned warm and the birds are trimming the buds on the dogwood outside our window, awaiting them to blossom. {{{ i think the birds like the blossoms for their beauty as much as i do}}}
Birds have far less time to live life, so they must absorb everything much faster.
this makes me pleased.

**Wish me well.**

music in silence

I am not a very musically inclined person i have noticed.
For instance, I dont listen to the radio.. I am not 'up' with the latest tracks [yo], my ipod has a few select songs that I like to listen to again and again because I either love them for something they are connected to, or I listened to these songs growing up. I dont quest around on limewire for new songs, i dont know anything about new artists and I certainly dont understand how one keeps up with the fact that there seems to be someone new on 'the scene' everyday.. and everyone seem to know their hit song off by heart before I have even figured out the lyrics to brittney spears' "hit me baby"...
My Husband on the other hand, LOVES new music. He has the 'coffee shop' station on almost the whole day, he knows these indie bands like they are related to him and he isnt scared to find a new station on some days.
He likes to listen to music while he works, while he reads, while he eats..
I like background noise too, so I can understand this, however, I will put on a movie for background noise. I like the familiar dialouge and the fact that you can stop what your doing and sit down for a minute and it doesnt seem like your just sitting there, your watching a movie!
when i clean, or write, or read, i like silence. I like to be alone with my thoughts in a quiet atmosphere and not have the newest awesomest kick-ass artist strumming thier guitar and telling me about how bad they want to still be with her...

BUT, i am starting to get accustomed to music being on daily. and not only that, but before writing this post i reached over and turned on the radio to listen to some guy talk about budget cuts. (another of Bens fav stations). This isnt because I have started liking it... I think its because Ben is away this weekend and now its made me feel more attached to him.
so strange...